Life never is what you expect it to be. I never thought that I would be in the place I am right now. If someone told me 2 years ago I would be going through this right now I would have laughed. I had so much trust in the company I worked for, never in a million years would I have thought I would be unemployed and looking for a new path at the age of 36. I thought I was secure and I had told a lot of people I worked for a company that treated their employees like family. I really thought I was going to retire with this company. Yes I am hurt and heartbroken but going on is essential. The good part of this situation is I am a lot wiser for the hard lesson learned. No this is not the ending scene of Doogie Howser M.D. (hopefully some of my readers remember this show) but I do feel I have to get this out. I think my difficult situation is what made me want to freelance. I want to work for ME. I want to be the reason for my success and I want to learn from my mistakes. I do not want someone over my shoulder telling me I screwed up. I also want to be there for the most important part of my life, my family.
I have so much on the line right now I sometimes have to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Trying the things I am right now is easier when you are in your twenties and do not have a family to support. I know I can be a success if I just get my foot in the right door. I am a lucky woman to have friends and family support me in this journey. I honestly don’t think I would be able to do this alone and thankfully I am not.
I know I promised an update on my freelancing job search in the last post. I can tell you this I have not won any bids on Elance as of yet. I will keep trying until I get something. I am sure being a new freelancer makes possible employers wary of hiring me for a project. All I need is one shot to prove my worth and get a good rating as a result.
I am not going to leak too much but I have something in the works and hopefully in the next month or so I will be able to post good news. I can say that I have applied to independent housekeeping ads and hope to work small housekeeping jobs while the kids are out of school for the summer (a few hours a week that I can do quickly).
As for the mainstream job that I applied for, my application is on hold for now. I am taking this as a sign to work harder on the freelance and hopefully when the mainstream employer calls me for an interview I will have better options on the table.
While I am writing this post I am looking at my oldest daughter and I see a happy child who has her mother at home with her finally. I think back to when I was her age (9) and about what I thought I would be doing my 30’s. I would never had told you I would be working. I always thought I would be a stay at home mom. I wanted to cook, clean and take care of my family.
Unfortunately as a child I did not have the home life I wanted. I wanted a stay at home mommy who was able to take care of me and who would be waiting for me to come home with a plate of cookies and milk in her hands (yes I watched too much Leave it to Beaver and Donna Reed).
I am not saying my home life was awful, my mother is wonderful and I learned a lot of great things from her. I am sure my mom wanted nothing more than to stay at home with us kids, but of course finances did not allow that luxury. I see more often that moms are staying home and raising their children and I think how can I do this? I have so many ideas swirling around in my head. So many things I can be good at doing .
I am also exploring other ways to save money. I want to work on a raised bed garden and plant fruit trees so we can supply our own food. I would love the opportunity to have a few of my own chickens. My daughters have a small garden (in pots) and I like seeing how enthusiastic they are about growing their own food. I am learning a lot from Soli and Nourished Living Network, I recommend others to check out these helpful sites.
I also decided that since this weekend is Father’s Day, the next post I write will be a post exclusively for my family and our activities this weekend. I will be covering the foods the girls and I are making for Daddy and PopPop and our family outing (going to a local spring for swimming). I am hoping to include pictures and recipes as well.
Hope you stay tuned for my next adventure.