So here it begins, this is where I will start to address everything I have been dealing with since I was a kid.
Like I said in Weight…Now it’s Serious I have been on a diet for most of my life. I don’t want my daughters to look in the mirror and see the following image:
I look at my children right now and they look healthy and beautiful. They have pudgy little tummies that all children have and they fit in clothes that are the proper size for them (well actually we shop for them in the junior section because they are taller than girls their age).
I do admit my children dress a little unconventional, I would call it fashion sense of their own. But it is nothing I can’t handle (My oldest daughter wears funky patterns and colors together) but that is not awful, she is finding herself and I will let her express how she feels as long as she is well-groomed and wears clothes that fit her.
I never have ever used the “D” word with any of my girls (even my niece when I had custody of her). I believe that children do not need to worry about things like diets because they are growing and the last thing they need to worry about is “Does this make my butt look big?”
With that all said it is good that I am making these decisions about raising my girls but what about me? I need to change what I see in the mirror because what I see is far worse than that little cartoon above. A few weeks back I said as much to my best friend and she had enough of me talking about diets and my weight she told me to get “Health At Every Size” by Linda Bacon and read it. I agreed and put the book on my waiting list for the library.
Well I have the book and I have read the Preface, Introduction and part of Chapter 1. Well to put it as honestly as I can. I was tearing up and shaking my head in agreement in just the Preface. Linda Bacon really knows how I feel, what I see and how my life has been for the last 26 years of my life.
But of course I read and do research of the perception of what “fat” is now. The perception of the “perfect” body size has drastically changed in the past 200 years. What was once seen as curvy, voluptuous, and even plump is now replaced with words like obese, fat, gross, sloppy and gargantuan. I want to be seen as voluptuous not sloppy!
I found a project artist Anna Utopia Giordano completed. She took famous paintings of “voluptuous” women and Photoshopped them to todays standard of what a “proper” sized woman should look like. I am linking the blog written by lrbizarrebazaar called “Famous Nudes Get Photoshpped Skinner” so you can see what the project looks like. I don’t think the Photoshopped version isn’t awful just not really the idea of healthy.
I know as a woman of 6’3″ I will never be the standard of skinny EVER! Of course it doesn’t help that I have had three children and I am over the age of 30 (closer to 40 actually). I never did the “diet” thing to be super skinny I just wanted to fit into smaller clothes, be healthier and have more time with my children. But I have learned in the past year that having more time with my kids or what I can do is all about time and not weight. I now just want to learn to be happy in the skin that I am in. I want my daughters to see a confident woman who is happy about her size.
I want to end this post with the one thing that has me re-evaluating everything. I caught my middle daughter was doing crunches the other day because she said “I need to get healthy” she then mentioned she has to weigh her food like my husband and I have been doing and that is when I realized even though I don’t talk to the girls about their weight they see me and hear me talking about my dissatisfaction with my weight and I just don’t want them to worry about weight so I need to change something.
In the next couple of weeks I will be posting about the things I am learning while reading “Health At Every Size”. I will not post about the book and ruin it for others who are interested in reading. I will simply be posting about how the book is changing me and what the changes or lack of changes are doing for me.
I will still post about my freelancing, my family and other subjects as well and I hope you will stay tuned and follow me through this journey!