Yes I suffer from panic attacks. I was actually diagnosed with a panic disorder. I have suffered from this issue for as far as I can remember I just didn’t know what they were.
It is hard to tell people who have never suffered any kind of panic what really goes one in your head and with your body when you are having one of these awful attacks. My husband never believed in them until he experienced what I exactly go through and how scary it is to see someone you love suffer the way I do.
I am going to try to explain it the best I can to those of you who have never felt this before. The way I feel when having a panic attack is simply I think I am dying. I have heart issues to start with (heart murmur and arterial fibrillation) but of course the panic attack makes me feel like I am having a heart attack. There have been times I have been in bed and all I could do is listen to my heart beating in my ears to be sure it was still beating. Panic attacks takes the most logical person and turns them into the most irrational person you have ever met.
When you have a panic attack you know logically it is just a panic attack and it has to pass, but there is that little voice crying “maybe it isn’t a panic attack this time”.
I have been to the emergency room on numerous accounts to be told “you are having a panic attack there is nothing wrong with you”. You go home feeling like a fool and still having the panic go on. There are medications that help keep these attacks under control but they don’t always work.
This is one of my health issues and one of the reasons why I have been absent for a while. I also have physical health issues as well. These issues are harder to define because we don’t know what is wrong. I thought it was a hormonal imbalance because I had rapid hair growth, weight fluctuations, and exhaustion. The doctor took a lot of blood and urine from me and ran tests to see what the issue was. When everything was said and done the only issue I have is low B12. Everything else was within normal limits.
Finally everything came to a head on the evening of my nephew’s prom. I couldn’t enjoy the day and have fun watching him prepare for this big event because I just felt like crud. I was sad and crying, felt like someone took my batteries out, and had panic because I just didn’t feel well.
I decided the next day I was going to change my diet because something had to give. I cut out a lot of the bad carbs in my diet and started to make sure there were fruits and vegetables in my diet. Of course feeling awful didn’t go away instantly but I slowly started to feel better. It took more than a week not to feel winded when walking. My husband and I decided he was going to join me for my doctor’s visit a week later.
When I went to my doctor we discussed how I have been feeling, why I think I am having issues with my weight and the lack of test results. He is going to order more blood tests and send me to a specialist about my weight. There are many thoughts and ideas in the works right now and I am still not sure what I will be doing about my weight issues. We decided to meet again in 3 months to do the blood tests we talked about and to talk about what the specialist says.
I am still trying to eat well which means I measure and account for everything I put in my mouth.
Of course there will be more updates as I find out more.
My next post I will be giving an update on the status of my business.
I hope you stay tuned!